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Self Discovery, Healing & Bullsh*t

Here I am, sitting at my desk in the ol' workplace, for my last Tuesday here. After Friday, it's all done. I am no longer a business owner. Not only that, I have no workplace whatsoever. WHAT?!

On the upside of a limited income (soon to be zilch-o income) is I can now say I am in recovery. My name is Tasha and I am a recovering Shopaholic. It's been a path of discovery and self-healing. I have really found myself and the deeper meaning of my need to be a consumer. Do I need 10 different purses? Do I need shoes in every colour? Do I need 3 drawers full of make-up? Who the hell am I kidding?! Of course I do! YES! I need all of these things! I need to shop. Its in my blood. Its who I am. I shop, therefore I am. Money does not buy happiness. Bullsh*t. Money does indeed buy me the things I need to be happy. My life needs Things. Discovery and self-healing? The only discovery I need to make is whatever new stock Winners has just put out. The self-healing... a new purse, watch, shoes, etc. will heal me up just fine, thank you very much.

Whatever, don't judge me. You can have your cigarettes. And you can keep your booze. (pffft obviously this is just a dramatic flourish, the booze is also mine) Shopping is a nice addiction. It's not just about me when I shop. I like to buy things for others too. I am generous and buying things for others makes me feel good. So does buying things for myself. But if I say I like buying for others, it sounds better.

Becoming a mother was the best thing that ever happened to me and my need to purchase. Gave me a whole new realm of shopping. Now, if I feel the need to buy something, there is Gus. He is a growing boy. He needs new things all the time! People may scoff at me if I bought a beautiful new purse while unemployed, however if I bought Gus a new pair of kicks, whatever. He needed those.

The mall. My place of worship. Where I feel whole. Where I feel a kinship of spirits. Where I feel at home. How I have missed you. My recovery is not by choice. I will be back. We will be reunited. And it will be blissful for us both. Me,  filling my heart with all of its desires. You,  taking all I have to offer and prospering. I will help you. I will help keep those retail jobs secure. I will help you. I will help to keep the economy going.

As my good friend, Tina, said this week; actual therapy may be cheaper. But who the hell wants to lay on some couch dredging up the past?! Lead me to the mall any day. I will buy myself into happiness. And it is now a proven fact. Retail therapy is a legitimate means of attaining an elevated state of being. Proven by science and psychology. Therefore, true obviously.

Once I am back in the game I am never letting go again. I have plans already. I know there are things waiting for me to take them home and make mine. Things that will make me happy. Things that will improve my mood. Psychologists have proven it. I will test the theory extensively. I will be happy and that happiness will happen at the mall.

 



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